Who Ate All The Pies

Classic Moment: England 4-2 Croatia, Euro 2004

Remember when Wayne Rooney used to score goals for England? Vaguely? Well, his last two competitive goals for England were this pair he scored against Croatia at Euro 2004. Check out some excitable commentary from John Motson, including the prophetic: "Is there nothing this boy can do!"

[Rob Parker]

Classic Moments: 'Platttty!!!'

Ah, I remember the days when England had a good manager…

Click below for another classic Turnip clip:

Les! Demand it!!

Classic Moment: Referee scores a goal in Brazil

The referee's a poacher! In this clip from the 1980s, a Brazilian referee manages to get himself on the scoresheet as he deflects a shot into the back of the net. The man in black is goal-hanging on the back post and finds himself in the right place at the right time. The opposition are understandably not best pleased with this!

[Rob Parker]

Classic Moment: John Barnes scores against Brazil in the Maracana, 1984

Isotonic John, no doubt fuelled to the tits on energy drinks, shows the Brazilians how to do it:

Stuart McCall back to Bantams?

Rumour has it that Bradford are keen on taking Stuart McCall back to the Bantams in a managerial role. Let's hope he performs better on the touchline than he does when he's seen wobbling around and falling off cars. Still, not a drop spilled. A legend.

Classic Moment: Lee Dixon's greatest ever goal

This is undoubtedly the best goal Lee Dixon ever scored. Unfortunately for the Arsenal right-back turned BBC pundit it was an own goal against David Seaman. A sublime chip from 25 yards leaving the keeper with no chance!

[Rob Parker]

Steve Morrow goes wrong in celebration

Steve Morrow. Remembered for only one thing. Being unceremoniously dumped on his head after scoring the winner in a cup final for Arsenal and nearly perishing. So, what better way to relive the moment than with Baddiel and Skinner taking the piss out it?

[Mof Gimmers]

"There's only one Jimmie Krankie" and other ace chants

There is nothing like a funny chant at a ground to make you realise how wonderful football can really be. Sometimes chants become famous in their own right... just like "There's only two Andy Gorams!" after he was diagnosed with schizophrenia or the brilliant "You're not as good as Christmas" sung at Jermaine Easter recently.

So with footballers making sorry names for themselves with contract wrangling and managers always moaning about referees, it's to the fans we look for our footballing joys... so read over for some of the finest and funniest chanting of the past few weeks which include Wee Jimmie Krankie at Leeds and Cilla Black...

"Cilla wants her teeth back, Cilla wants her teeth back, La la la la, La la la la". Liverpool fans to Ronaldinho during Barcelona match.

"You'll never cheat for England!" Watford fans to Everton's Andy Johnson after an alleged dive in the box.

"Theres only one Jimmy Krankie!" Wolves fans to Leeds manager Dennis Wise.

"We've got Channel 4!" and "Have you ever seen ER?" Hibs fans to Queen of the South fans who reside in the Borders region where you can't get a Channel 4 signal.

[Mof Gimmers]

Classic Moments: Stretcher bearers make sure Pierre Issa's shoulder is sufficiently broken

Former Watford defender Pierre Issa must have known his luck was out after dislocating his shoulder in this fairly innocuous trip against Birmingham. But even he couldn't have predicted the stretcher bearers would then slam the same shoulder into the turf as he was being carried away. The moral of the story? Stretcher bearers should never borrow Rafa Benitez's shoes!

More stretcher bearer madness [Rob Parker]

Bicycle kick bonanza!

Bicycle kicks? Lots of 'em? Yes please!