Who Ate All The Pies

Is Diaby's goal the flukiest ever?

Is this the jammiest goal ever scored in the history of the Premier League? Diaby is one lucky lucky sod.

Diaby 0-1 AstonVilla-Arsenal
Uploaded by Tyfoon-Gunners

Henry luvs Arsenal 4eva

He may have made his stomach fall to bits by playing whilst injured, but contrary to reports, Thierry Henry insists that he hasn't played his last game for Arsenal. The Gunners captain has said that he will stay with the club "for life".

Henry, now out for the season after he buggered up his groin and stomach muscles in the Champions League defeat to PSV Eindhoven was subject to a lot of speculation regarding his future. The Frenchman has dismissed those reports and pledged himself to Arsenal for the rest of his life. He told The Sun: "People in France and some over here are still saying I am going to leave. I am not going to leave. Never. I am staying here for life. I have no intention of walking out on this club, whatever the situation is. At no stage this season have I ever thought about leaving. I love the club, I love the fans and I am 100% behind the boss." That's sweet isn't it? Thierry and Arsenal... sitting in a tree... K.I.S.S.I.N.G...

Classic Moment: Lee Dixon's greatest ever goal

This is undoubtedly the best goal Lee Dixon ever scored. Unfortunately for the Arsenal right-back turned BBC pundit it was an own goal against David Seaman. A sublime chip from 25 yards leaving the keeper with no chance!

[Rob Parker]

Steve Morrow goes wrong in celebration

Steve Morrow. Remembered for only one thing. Being unceremoniously dumped on his head after scoring the winner in a cup final for Arsenal and nearly perishing. So, what better way to relive the moment than with Baddiel and Skinner taking the piss out it?

[Mof Gimmers]

THE VOTE Do Arsenal get the results they deserve?

The Carling Cup final and now this… I know loads of non-Arsenal fans who will have chuckled out loud when PSV equalised at the Emirates last night. You want to shake Thierry Henry and his talented chums and shout: 'For God's sake, we know you're all brilliant players, but just stick the ball in the bloody net!'

With Arsenal right now it's a case of too many flashing blades but no cutting-edge. Do they need to change the way they play, or are they merely going through a bad patch? And did they deserve to lose the tie to PSV? It seems to me that Arsene Wenger will not accept that sometimes you need to play ugly to get results. George Graham knew that.

Liverpool, Man Utd & Chelsea through, Celtic & Arsenal out: a few Champions League reflections

1 Why is it Ballack & Shevchenko can do it against Europe's finest, but not against the likes of Wigan and Charlton? Must be very frustrating for Chelski fans.
2 It's never a good idea to headbutt the pitch. Just ask poor Mikael Silvestre.
3 Celtic have got some very talented kids who should be proud of their gutsy performance in the San Siro. Darren O'Dea deserves special praise. The young defender had a wonderful match.
4 Who really feels sorry for Arsenal? They paid the price once again for playing their flawed brand of why-shoot-when-you-can-pass? football. When will Arsene Wenger learn that sometimes you just have to hoof it long and hope for the best? Liverpool, Chelsea and even Man Yoo all play the long-ball game when they have to. There's no shame in it. It's still the first week in March and Arsenal's season is over.

5 Liverpool's prosaic brand of sleeves-rolled-up football isn't pretty but it sure as hell is effective. They really need a decent striker though. Dirk Kuyt works his socks off but he lacks pace, finesse and composure, among other attributes.

6 Clive Tyldesley is a one-eyed cliche machine.
7 Liverpool, Man Utd and Chelsea are now the best teams left in the tournament, at least according to the bookies. Does this mean that as well as the gulf between the Premiership and the Championship, there's also a gulf developing between the Prem and other European leagues?
8 PSV Eindhoven will not win the Champions League this season. And you can quote me on that…

Gilberto Silva, Julio Baptista and Denilson bring the samba rhythm to north London

This video shows Arsenal's Brazilian connection of Gilberto Silva, Julio Baptista and Denilson playing mandolin, singing, dancing and generally being Brazilian. Denilson seems to be a bit shy, but that is before he gets up to do a little jig towards the end of the video!

[Rob Parker]

New home of Gunners helps burglars do runners!

Police have revealed that Arsenal's new Emirates Stadium is responsible for a sudden increase in crime. Residents of the Highbury Hill area have been told that burglaries in the area have almost doubled in the six months since the Gunners moved to their new home.

Two bridges built near the stadium to allow fans to cross a railway line to access the ground are being used as a handy escape route by thieving scumbags. How about employing Kolo Toure to patrol the bridges and keep order? [Via Guardian, Rob Parker]

Lampard didn't get a smack from Adebayor

Emmanuel 'Evander Holyfield' Adebayor apparently DIDN'T punch Frank 'Looks a bit like KD Lang' Lampard. Pity. After Arsene Wenger started spouting off and shouting "THE LINESMAN IS A BIG FAT LIAR!" to just about anyone who would listen, and then called for Fat Frank to come forward and save his striker.

Lampard's agent Steve Kutner told LiteSport on Thursday: "I've spoken to Frank and he told me he hadn't been hit by anybody." This is bad news for the FA as their position was always 'That Adebayor well threw a punch at our Frank', which leaves the whole thing becoming more farcical by the second. Of course, the FA are changing their tune now...

After everyone in the world disagreed with the FA, they have now claimed that at no point did the linesman say that Adebayor punched Lampard, rather, he just 'aimed a punch' at the England midfielder. Wenger, who usually can't see a contraversial incident - even if it took place on his nose - claims that the officials' report is untrue.

Adebayor hasn't helped his cause for appeal by being charged with reacting aggressively and failing to leave the field. Of that, there is surely no question. The player has requested a personal hearing, to take place next Tuesday, and Wenger insisted: "I don't agree at all with the report of the linesman on Adebayor because, for me, he lies. When he says he punched Lampard, I would like you to ask Lampard if he was punched and I want him to say the truth. We have watched it on microscope and if you see Adebayor punching Lampard, I would like you to show me that." That's how bad Wenger's eyesight is. He needs a pissing microscope to watch a game. The FA now want Arsene to explain himself. [Mof Gimmers]

Thierry Henry's unfeasibly large ghetto blaster

Who knows where Thierry picked up this mother of all boomboxes – Tandy? What I do know is that he was listening to MC Hammer when this photo was taken. Or Musical Youth.