2007, the football wish list

Who Ate All The Pies is back after a wee seasonal break, refreshed and ready for the second half of the football season. We hope you had a great Xmas and New Year. I battled gamely against a nasty chest infection but managed to squeeze in the odd mince pie and glass of mulled wine.

Anyway, it's back to business now. There's a Premiership title to win and the small matter of a relegation dogfight to enjoy… Click below to read our football wish list for 2007.

The Pies wish list, 2007

1 That pundits stop saying of Cristiano Ronaldo, 'He's got all the skill in the world, but his end product is lacking…' No no no no no. If other players got into dangerous attacking positions as much as Ronaldo (almost every time he gets the ball, it seems), they too would make the odd misjudgment. But they don't. Master Ronaldo is the best young player in the world. Get over it, United haters.

2 That Ian Holloway takes Plymouth into the Premiership, via the play-offs. There's less than a 1-in-100 chance that this will happen, but, God, we'd love to see Olly pitting his wits – and his quotes – against Jose, Sir Alex, Neil Warnock and co.

3 That the Premiership title race lasts until the final day of the season. It's been way too long since we've had a thrilling 'Up for grabs' moment in the top flight.

4 That Alan Pardew – who should never have been sacked in the first place – saves Charlton from relegation, whilst Alan Curbishley dooms West Ham to the drop. Not that we've got anything against the Hammers, but that Tale of Two Alans would send a wonderfully ironic message to all short-sighted chairmen.

5 That Steve McLaren walks over a sharp cattle grid wearing an extremely heavy hat (apologies to Black Adder). Please, he's just not good enough to manage England. If we lose our Euro 2008 qualifier in Israel (a real possibility), we're in serious danger of not reaching next year's finals.

6 On a similar note… That McLaren bangs his head and realises that the England team has to be built around Steven Gerrard playing in central midfield. Fat Frank Lampard can't play there with him, we know that from painful experience. Of course, we'll probably stumble towards Euro 2008 with the Gerrard/Lampard axis intact and then throw our hands up when we get knocked out in the quarter finals again. Bummer.

7 That Tottenham's young giant Tom Huddlestone keeps on growing. If the Hudd gets much bigger, Martin Jol will be able to play him as a one-man midfield.

8 That Petr Cech, Jimmy Bullard, Michael Owen, Joe Cole and co return safe and sound to Premiership action.

9 That I win the Pies fantasy league (unlikely).

10 That Roman Abramovich bets it all on black – and it comes up red.

[Ollie, Pies Ed.]

What's your biggest football wish for 2007? Add a comment now…