Who Ate All The Pies

Chelsea squad mess about during training

What does it take to be Champions? Well, judging by this Chelsea training session, all it takes is a lot of horsing around, screaming like a girl, playing without your boots on and having a go on a posh camera... oh... and a Russian Billionaire helps as well.

Barrow James Cotterill admits FA Cup punch

Barrow defender James Cotterill has pleaded guilty to causing grevious bodily to Bristol Rovers' Sean Rigg during an FA Cup match. Rigg was left with a double fracture of the jaw after being punched by Cotterill in an off-the-ball incident.

Cotterill admitted the charge at Barrow Magistrates Court. He will be sentenced at Lancaster Crown Court in January. Rigg told the court that he had been forced to drink through a straw and eat using a teaspoon. [Via BBC]

[Rob Parker]

Kit Parade: Plymouth Argyle, away shirt

We've featured Argyle manager/Pies legend Ian Holloway plenty of times – and we'll continue to do so – but we've not yet looked at the Pilgrims' kit. This is the away shirt, made by Puma, and rather nice it is too. As an Argyle fan, I must admit that our kits are usually a bit cheap-looking, so it's nice to have a smart kit made by a decent manufacturer (they also do World Cup-winners Italy). Just don't mention the sponsor… BUY IT

Southampton's Chris Baird and Kelvin Davis fight

Last night's 4-3 thriller between Southampton and Birmingham wasn't just notable for Kenwyne Jones' celebration. Saints pair Chris Baird and goalkeeper Kelvin Davis indulged in a spot of handbags following Birmingham's third goal.

The duo had to be pulled apart by team-mates, but referee Ian Williamson decided against issuing cards to either player (which might have Lee Bowyer and Kieron Dyer feeling a bit aggrieved). I can't find any footage of the incident circulating yet, but let us know if you do come across a video.

Kenwyne Jones' celebrates

Last night, Birmingham and Southampton were involved in a 4-3 thriller which had great goals, funny goals and more. Highlight of the match was Kenwyne Jones' celebration, caught on video last night by a giddy Saints' fan

Play Stick Football, lose your job…

Damn, Stick Football is tough – much tougher than the hugely popular Stick Cricket, which costs thousands of man hours each day. You need double the amount of fingers and thumbs to play it. Either that, or I'm just rubbish at it.

Perfect fodder for your lunch-break, but be warned – it's more addictive than a crack sandwich.

Celtic want to play with the big boys

It would seem that Celtic want to be a proper club and start playing with the big boys now that they're in the nosebleed territory of the Champion's League. It seems that they're for getting out of Scotland's crappy league (contrary to what Gordon Strachan thinks mind you) Celtic's chief executive Peter Lawwell insists that they are well positioned for any new developments in European football. "There are maybe five or six clubs with global recognition and we are one of them," he said. "We are a club in a small region with a massive reach with the Irish-Scots diaspora around the world. If there is some sort of environmental change, with an extension of the Champions League, people around the world will know about Celtic." Lawwell was speaking at the Soccerex conference in Dubai and believes Celtic must set their sights beyond Scotland.

Lawwell stated: "I think looking forward we're going to need some form of reconstruction of the game in Europe to compete with the NBAs and so on, maybe a super league at some point," he added. "But we are not instigating anything, we are sitting back and observing. We want to take the Celtic story around the world," said Lawwell. "The problem is we're playing in a fairly unattractive league in comparison to Europe's major championships week in, week out. What we want to do is compete at the highest level because the size of the club and the history of the club demand that. I would like to be involved in any restructuring that would do that, but the fact of the matter is that in a Scottish nation of five million people the media values are so low. That's a fact and I don't see how that's going to change. So we need to be a part of any restructuring that may take place in the future. The challenge is how do you grow and how do you compete with the Manchester Uniteds, Barcelonas, Real Madrids and Inter Milans?"

I personally didn't realise that there were plurals of the mentioned teams, but no matter; it would seem to me that Celtic are getting a bit too big for their boots and wishing away from the country that has supported them all these years. The Bhoys chief has conceded that there is no chance of Celtic moving to England's Premiership, and that Celtic have no voice at the G14 table (the group that represents the interests of Europe's elite clubs). Lawwell added that the club's recent signing policy has been conducted with market growth in mind. He said: "We've got (Shunsuke) Nakamura from Japan, we have brought in two Polish players - Maciej Zurawski and Artur Boruc - and last year we brought Roy Keane to Celtic in order to squeeze growth out of the market in Ireland." Does that sound cold to anyone else? Of course, football is a business, but put in such a cold light, it would seem that Celtic are intent on becoming the Scot equivalent of Chelsea, which in my view, is very sad indeed. [Mof Gimmers]

2006 FIFA World Player of the Year – who would you vote for?

FIFA has announced its shortlist for this year's World Player of the Year award. The three 'finalists', as chosen by the captain and coach of all 207 FIFA teams, are:
Zinedine Zidane, Ronaldinho, Fabio Cannavaro

I find it remarkable that Zidane makes the list after his antics at the World Cup, but I guess it's a testament to his brilliance as a footballer that he can do such a thing and still be up for this award. Ronaldinho had a poor World Cup – although you can't argue with his impact at Barcelona, nor with the fact that he's the most gifted player on the planet. Cannavaro was the best player at this 2006 World Cup and lifted the trophy for Italy. He's just won the European Footballer of the Year and probably deserves to win FIFA's bauble too. I'm not an Arsenal fan, but I'd argue that Thierry Henry should be on the shortlist instead of compatriot Zidane.

Who would you vote for? Let us know…

Classic Moments: Ole Solskjaer comes on as sub and scores four goals

It's very rare that a striker scores four goals in one game; it's unheard of that a striker comes off the bench and scores four times. Ole-Gunnar Solskjaer did it once though, and in the space of ten minutes, for Man Yoo against Nottm Forest. Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole…

Clint Dempsey prepares to move to Premiership?

Clint 'Deuce' Dempsey is the current Player of the Year in the U.S. He's a solid enough midfielder, still young (23) and good enough for a squad place in most Premiership teams, barring the top five or six clubs. Sports Illustrated reports that Dempsey will probably move from current club New England Revolution to the Prem in the January transfer window. The rumours suggest that Fulham and Charlton – who made an unsuccessful £1.5m offer for Dempsey in August 2006 – are the most likely destinations for the American.

Dempsey himself is confident he could cut it in England: 'If I didn't think I could make an impact I shouldn't be playing,' he says. 'I feel like I can go over and make a difference because I was able to make a difference during the World Cup. The only way I'll get better is to continue putting myself in that environment. It's sink or swim, and I like being around that.'

Here's a clip featuring some of Dempsey's best goals: