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Craig Allardyce - "I'm a failure" (No? Really?)

FailureCraig Allardyce, big fat claptrapped fool of a football agent has finally come out in the press and spoken some sense. He's spoken at great length to a newspaper about how he feels like he's a big fat failure.

Well, leaving your Dad in the shit, possibly mucking up his chances (slim ones I reckon) of the England job, and generally being a greedy sod (both in the wallet and fridge department) on the nation's TV.

Craig blubbed "This is the worst week of my life because things I have been involved in have also made it the worst week ever for my father and my family. I feel a fool, I feel gullible — but most of all I feel I have let my dad down. When I consider how honest and generous he is, for him to be involved in something that makes him look quite the opposite absolutely makes me feel sick. Although Dad's not rollicked me, I have rollicked myself over and over again. I know I have let him down, let down everyone near to me." (Here's your degree in stating the bleedin' obvious)

He continued "I had a massive carrot dangled in front of me and the temptation was just too much and I exaggerated my importance and my position. But doesn't everyone who goes to an interview exaggerate what they can offer in order to gain as much as possible? Well, I thought I could better myself by becoming involved and I laid it on thick." So instead of pocketing a rake of cash, he's left looking like a grade A chump. Worse still, he's got his Dad into bother too.

Craig said "All my life I've had to try and live up to my old man and his achievements. He's had a great career and everybody out there looks up to him and respects him — he's Big Sam, isn't he? I watched him battle his way to the top in the game and I was so proud. I have been desperate to live up to what Dad had done before and to make him proud of me. He's always said how proud he is of me, but I've thought ‘How can you be?'  I failed as a footballer and now I've failed as an agent too. Yet he still stands by me and is supporting me all the time." Well, Big Sam must be mental. I would have leathered him up and down the Reebok car-park... but no matter...

He added, not looking for the nation's sympathy in anyway, "When I saw myself talking like that it was cringe-worthy. I'm so embarrassed. I've struggled to sleep because I'm so angry with myself. I have got to deal with my mistakes — I don't want to involve my father any more than necessary. He's in the middle of all this because I have sat there and given it large. I'm not ask ing for sympathy — I got myself involved. But he's done absolutely nothing. It's so unfair." (read that last line like a stroppy teenager, it's funnier that way)

Now, Allardyce Jnr is feeling more paranoid than Colonel Kurtz "I can't trust anyone — on the phone, in the pub. That's why I've surrendered my licence. That's why it's over for me as an agent. Much as I hate to be defeated by this speculation and the constant doubts and suspicion, I can't live like that. I'd been seriously considering quitting as an agent for some time but this has finished me. They don't want me, they are always after my dad and try to get to him through me. But I can't continue to be a target for people who want to get at my dad. To see people try and knock him down like this is too painful. I look up to him and I'm proud of him and I want to be able to enjoy that and not worry that someone is going to come along and try and knock him. So how can I carry on?"

The Horror... The Horror...

[Mof Gimmers]
[via NOTW]

September 29, 2006 in Bolton Wanderers | Permalink


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