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Top 10 Ugliest Players in the Premier League

Sloth Seeing an ugly footballer with a stunning blonde always puts me in mind of Mrs Merton's classic one-liner to Debbie McGee: 'So, Debbie, what first attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels?' It's a sad fact of life that not all famous people are blindingly attractive.

Anyway, after extensive research, we can reveal that the Top 10 Ugliest Players in the Premier League are:

Top 10 Ugliest Players in the Premier League continued…

10 Edwin van der Sar Man U's Dutch keeper has a face that puts me in mind of Lurch, The Addams Family's lanky butler.

9 Pascal Cygan
The bald Frenchman looks like Kryten from Red Dwarf. He's not as good a defender as Kryten, but, hey, you can't have it all.

8 Lee Hendrie
Would feel right at home in Royston Vasey.

7 Francis Jeffers Wrong-faced Scouse chav. His neck's too long, his eyes are too small and his ears stick out. Apart from that, he looks fine.

6 Nemanja Vidic Looks like he's been 12 rounds with Mike Tyson (or Duncan Ferguson).

5 Wayne Rooney
Everyone's favourite ogre.

4 Phil/Gary Neville
Faces somehow got mixed up at birth.

3 Ivan Campo
Acceptable hair/face for a rock band (doesn't he look like The Strokes' Albert Hammond?), but not for a modern footballer.

2 Jimmy Bullard
I've never employed a chimney sweep, but if I did, I'd fully expect him to look like Jimmy Bullard.

1 Peter Crouch The new king of ugly footballers.

Who have we missed? Get in touch and let us know. More ugly footballers here.

[Ollie, Pies Ed.]

August 23, 2006 in Lists | Permalink


luke chadwick? formerly of man utd

check this out http://www.uglyfootballers.com/index.asp

Posted by: dmac | Aug 23, 2006 4:35:02 PM

Richardo Carvalho, Robert Huth, Tugay, Alan Stubbs.

Posted by: Joe | Aug 23, 2006 6:52:47 PM

Peter Crouch is "Munch" from Two Pint of Lager.

Posted by: Lew | Aug 23, 2006 10:46:59 PM

A bit harsh on the boy Jimmy I think. Admittedly he does have a funny look about him, but is he really worse than Craig Bellamy or Marlon Harewood??

Posted by: Nicky | Aug 24, 2006 12:23:32 AM

When Ivan Campo's stunning mug popped up in third, I lost it.

Huth and Carvalho are not pretty men either.

Posted by: Michael | Aug 24, 2006 3:39:16 AM

Rooney is the ugliest person i have ever seen.he doesnt deserved to be on the top

Posted by: Filip | Aug 25, 2006 1:05:00 PM

I know he didn't make it to England this summer, but how about Franck Ribery?

Posted by: james | Aug 25, 2006 9:39:19 PM

Nah, you're wrong, sorry. Crouch is the hottest!

Ugliest: Rooney & Ronaldo.

Posted by: Emma | Nov 11, 2006 4:21:52 PM

Two words: Dirk Kuyt. Great player and all, but DAMN is he ugly.

Posted by: Joe Az | Jan 14, 2007 1:30:14 AM

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